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Writer's pictureLanya McKittrick

8 Lessons That Helped Me Find the Bravery to Become My True Self



On September 3, 2024, I will publish my first book, Silence and Light: A Mother’s Journey to Advocacy. I couldn’t be more thrilled and scared at the same time. This book is a culmination of my journey through immense challenges and profound growth. It represents my transformation from a mother overwhelmed by her circumstances to an advocate who has found her voice and strength.


My Journey

A little over a year ago, I began writing my memoir as a way to process trauma, some of which I have experienced as a mom of kids with disabilities. My life had become a whirlwind of responsibilities and emotions, and I felt the need to put my thoughts down on paper to create a new understanding of those experiences and to heal. Writing became my sanctuary, a place where I could explore my feelings and begin to make sense of the chaos.


To aid my healing, I started going to therapy every week and exploring various energy healing modalities like reiki and guided meditation. At first, it felt impossible to slow down. My life had become robotic, and I was afraid to let people in, fearing I wouldn't be able to handle all the emotions. But slowly, I began to chip away at the wall I had built around myself.


Progress was painfully slow. Initially, it was difficult to quiet my mind, even for a few minutes. A friend recommended a 20-minute guided meditation session that took place twice a week at 6:30 am.

I decided to try it, and to my surprise, I loved it. This meditation, which I shared with my dogs while everyone else was asleep, became a cornerstone of my healing process. It left me feeling more energized and focused than I ever imagined. Although I struggled with "monkey mind"—restlessness and lack of focus—I persevered, learning to be kind to myself and gradually finding it easier to center my thoughts.


The Healing Process

Healing wasn’t immediate or easy. It involved a combination of therapy, meditation, and energy healing, all of which required patience and perseverance. Slowly, these practices helped me reconnect with myself and find the strength to face my challenges head-on. Here’s how my healing journey unfolded:

  • Therapy and Energy Healing: Weekly therapy sessions and exploring reiki, guided meditation, and other healing practices.

  • Slow Progress: Overcoming initial challenges to quiet my mind and embrace the practice of meditation.

  • Daily Meditation: Making meditation a daily habit, finding solace and energy in those quiet moments.

  • Positive Energy: Reading a transformative book on positive energy, which helped me reevaluate my relationships and priorities.


Finding Positive Energy

A life-changing book about positive energy helped me rethink my time and relationships. As an empath, I had to learn how to protect myself from taking on others' energy. The book's message resonated deeply with me:


“Are you forever rushing through your day, fending off chronic exhaustion? Are you desperately overcommitted, afraid to say no? Do you want to feel well rested and ready to conquer each day with enthusiasm, but fall short time and time again? If so, you’re the victim of a hidden energy crisis. Here, at last, is the complete prescription that will stop you from feeling constantly drained and enable you to live a more vibrant life.”


This revelation was crucial. I realized I needed to prioritize my own well-being to continue supporting my children and others effectively.


Planning My Second Book

Since writing my memoir, I’ve learned so much and am now planning a second book. This new book will dive deeper into struggles like overcommitment, perfectionism, grief, vulnerability, and finding oneself. I’ve come to understand that I am now a much stronger version of who I used to be. Becoming a mother changed me, but so did the challenges and triumphs that followed.


Life Lessons Learned

These lessons have helped me navigate life's challenges and emerge stronger and more authentic. Here are the key takeaways that have guided me along the way:

  1. Balance Self-Care and Care for Others: Prioritize kids, struggle in marriage, and find time for yourself.

  2. Control and Letting Go: Learn what to control and what to let go of, and be brave enough to leave a marriage or relationship that doesn’t serve you.

  3. Supporting Others: Know when to care for others and when to support them from the sidelines.

  4. Asking for Help: Learn to let people take care of you and ask for help.

  5. Self-Love: Heal trauma, be kind to yourself, and not base self-worth on others’ opinions.

  6. Deserving Healthy Relationships: Accept that some relationships aren’t right, and be okay with that.

  7. Self-Worth: Realize that money and external validation don’t define your worth.

  8. Pursuing Passions: Do things you feel good about, even if it means losing yourself to find yourself again.


Moving Forward

As I continue on this path of self-discovery and healing, my journey is far from over. Every day presents new opportunities to learn, grow, and embrace the person I have become. With the upcoming publication of Silence and Light: A Mother’s Journey to Advocacy, I am filled with both excitement and a sense of responsibility to share my story with others who might find solace and strength in it.


I hope you can find a few minutes of quiet time for yourself this week, even if it’s something simple like quieting your mind while drying your hair. 


Remember, healing and self-discovery are ongoing processes that require patience and kindness toward yourself. Thanks for being on this journey with me and for reading. Your support means the world to me, and I look forward to sharing more of my story with you.


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