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Listening to My Knowing: A Journey of Intuition and Healing

Writer's picture: Lanya McKittrickLanya McKittrick



This past year has been a profound journey of self-discovery, spiritual awakening, and healing. For the first time in my life, I learned to trust my intuition, embrace my gifts, and truly listen to “the knowing”—that quiet, guiding voice within me that had always been there, waiting to be heard.


As a child, I often felt different. I instinctively knew things others didn’t, and I could see paths forward that others couldn’t imagine. Yet, I didn’t understand these gifts or how they fit into my life. Instead, I felt isolated and confused, unsure of my purpose. Over the years, the challenges of raising children with disabilities—the grief, fear, and overwhelming responsibility—led me to disconnect from myself. I buried my emotions and ignored my intuition. I stopped hearing my knowing and, in the process, lost touch with who I was.


Two years ago, something shifted. I felt a deep, unshakable desire for change. I realized I had spent so much of my life giving to others that I’d forgotten how to give to myself. This realization, coupled with a quiet inner nudge, sparked the beginning of my transformation. It was time to reclaim myself—to quiet the noise, heal from trauma, and reconnect with my spirit.


I started by focusing on my health—physical, emotional, and spiritual. Meditation became my lifeline, even though, at first, it was hard to quiet my mind. Slowly, through guided meditations, I began feeling the presence of loved ones in spirit, including my grandmother. These moments were profound and deeply comforting, as if the universe was gently guiding me back to myself. Over time, I transitioned to quiet, unguided meditations, where I discovered I could activate my gifts and hear my knowing clearly.


As I embraced these gifts, I realized I am a conduit for healing—not just for myself, but for others. I immersed myself in energy work, including reiki, sound healing, and chakra balancing, to release past trauma and open myself fully to the flow of spirit. With each step, I felt lighter, more aligned, and more authentic. For the first time, I truly loved myself.


This newfound self-love allowed me to open my heart to a deeper connection with others. It created space for the most beautiful and transformative relationship of my life. For so long, I had been searching for joy and love outside myself, not realizing that I needed to find it within first. Once I embraced who I truly am and let go of self-judgment, the universe brought someone into my life who sees and loves me for the person I was always meant to be. This relationship feels like a homecoming, a connection rooted in shared purpose and a deep, spiritual bond.


Today, I live with gratitude for the journey that has brought me here. I’ve learned that my challenges were not obstacles—they were invitations to grow, to heal, and to embrace my true self. I now see that my life is happening for me, not to me. My gifts, my knowing, and my connection to spirit are all part of my purpose. They allow me to be a source of healing and light for others, particularly families of children with disabilities.


The work of healing is never finished, and I still have days where past pain resurfaces. But now, I welcome those moments as opportunities to deepen my connection to myself and to spirit. Through it all, I’ve learned that the path to joy begins with self-love, and the most authentic version of myself was waiting for me all along.


If this resonates with you, I invite you to reflect on your own journey. What is your inner voice telling you? How can you reconnect with your true self? Trust your knowing—it’s there, waiting for you, just as mine was. Your path to healing and joy is yours to embrace, and you don’t have to walk it alone.


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